2024 Non Negotiables

Here's to no longer delaying your joy

This week’s post is for Paid Subscribers and comes with a downloadable guide. While Free Subscribers can receive a snippet of this essay, To read the rest and receive access to your 2024 Non Negotiable PDF guide you would have to become a Paid Subscriber. If you want access to this week’s newsletter, as well as a bunch of exclusive paid benefits and the entire archive of my writing, then upgrade below.

“I can’t wait for summer!” I’d exclaim to my mom as she folded clothes and got us ready for bed. “Me neither,” she’d reply.

Growing up with immigrant parents meant that our lives were quite different from most.

My mother had her green card and could travel back and forth to the Dominican Republic, but my father couldn't. They had a long-distance marriage for a while.

Before my dad arrived to America, that was our yearly routine.

Mom would save up and work all kinds of odd jobs during the year, and once summer came, she’d take her four daughters on the long trek from Rhode Island to the Dominican Republic. I still can’t imagine how she managed to travel with four kids.

We’d spent all our time thinking about summer. No more freezing winters, black ice, and gray skies. It was as if every year, we would hold our breath until flowers started blooming, the sun started shining, and life felt lighter.

But the truth was that although we spent all those days waiting for a season, it became much easier to be discontent during the rest of the year. Anticipating the reunion with our dad was beautiful, but it made it hard to appreciate the moment.

Years later, during a painful waiting season, I realized that waiting seasons don’t need to be miserable.

We don’t have to wait for the next best thing to enjoy today.

I learned then that I don’t have to wait for perfection to experience joy. I can be content and find happiness in the imperfect moments, knowing that life is a journey filled with ups and downs.

In the beginning of 2021, after a year of deeply rooted childhood and racial trauma coming forth, I made a vow to show up for myself. To reclaim my joy. To choose healing.

So, I created my first Non-Negotiable List. A list where I was no longer second guessing my needs or putting them on the back burner. This list became a declaration to healing and self care, allowing me to tend the neglected parts of me, and make the most of every opportunity presented to me.

This year’s list took a bit longer. As I face some unknowns, I found myself in the same space I did when I was younger- waiting for summer.

Waiting for the sunny days rather than facing the gloom.
Waiting to get to the finish line to bask in the beauty.

But as I took the time to reflect, rest, and release
I created my Non-Negotiable List for 2024.