Everyone Doesn't Get Access

3 Lessons I'm Unlearning to Protect My Peace

There’s something about this season that feels tender and quiet.

Not empty, just intentional. The kind of quiet that comes when you realize not everyone is meant to have access to your heart, your thoughts, your healing, your presence.

As I take on this journey of recentering and returning to myself, I’m learning how often I’ve abandoned my peace in the name of being understood, validated, being liked, or being available for everyone but myself.

Three lessons I’m unlearning right now to protect my peace:

1. I don’t have to explain everything.

I used to feel like I owed people explanations for every boundary I set, every “no” I gave, every moment I chose myself. I wanted to be understood so badly that I would exhaust myself trying to shape my truth in a way others could receive.

Now, I’m learning that I can let my “no” be enough. That I can trust my spirit’s discernment without needing others to co-sign it. Silence can speak for me, and that’s okay.

2. I don’t have to react to everything.

Some situations used to pull me out of alignment so quickly. A text that stung, a comment that felt off, a conversation that left me spiraling. I felt like I needed to respond immediately, to defend myself, to clarify. But I’m unlearning the belief that I need to engage everything that calls my name. Not every moment needs a reaction, and not every reaction serves my healing.

Sometimes the most powerful response is silence, and letting things pass without my participation.

3. I don’t have to give everyone access.

For so long, I believed I had to keep my doors open to everyone to hold space even when it drained me, to keep conversations going even when they no longer felt safe, to allow people into parts of my life they hadn’t earned. I’m unlearning this. I’m learning that access to me is a privilege, not a right. It’s okay to pull back. It’s okay to close the door. It’s okay to choose who gets to witness your becoming.

Protecting my peace means I don’t have to keep proving my softness by staying open to what unsettles my spirit.

I can admit that these are lessons I’ve had to unlearn more than once. I’ve had seasons where I knew how to protect my peace and seasons where I forgot. Moments where I chose silence and moments where I felt pulled to react, explain, or prove myself, even when it cost me my peace.

But that doesn’t mean I’ve failed. It simply means I’m still growing.

Relearning doesn’t mean you’re behind; it means you’re human. It means you are tender enough to notice when you’ve stepped out of alignment and brave enough to return, again and again.

Protecting your peace is not about hardening your heart; it’s about honoring your capacity and your healing. It’s about knowing what pulls you away from yourself and choosing, over and over, to come back home, no matter how hard it is.

Maybe if you’re in a season like mine, you need this reminder:
You’re allowed to leave some things unanswered.
You’re allowed to let it be quiet for a while.
You’re allowed to protect your peace without guilt and without shame.

You are not failing when you need to relearn these lessons.
You are simply making room to grow.

Community,
Where in your life are you being invited to protect your peace without guilt?

If you’re ready to continue this work gently, Recenter: Finding Your Way Back Home is available for you a guided journal with 60 prompts and reflections to help you return to yourself in the quiet, in the chaos, and in the ordinary moments in between.

Grab Your Copy Here: Recenter PreOrders Now Available

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