Living a Life with Open Hands

The Art of Surrender

This past week I decided to close down my shop. 

I’ve had my shop open since February 23, 2017.
I remember the date because it was the same day I discovered I had lost my first baby.

In a way, my shop was a space for me to grieve.
It was a creative outlet that I often escaped to.
It was my safety blanket when I felt alone and hurt.

But as years passed by, it became an idol.
It became the place I ran to for validation.

I became dependent on the space and feared that if I stepped away, 
I’d lose momentum, which meant finances would drop, and I couldn’t provide.

After becoming a mom and experiencing a dark season of postpartum depression and anxiety, I struggled with keeping up with my business.

I was no longer created from a place of purpose but from a place of struggle and survival mode.

Earlier this year, I realized that a lot of my trauma was embedded in my creative space.
I realized that if I truly want to create from a healthy space of joy, freedom, and gratitude, I need to embrace that with my entire life.

And it cannot be done if you’re hands are closed.

So I decided to release my shop,
despite the fears and anxieties of giving up my place of safety.

I decided to take time to reflect and replenish
despite the guilt that might arise at first.

I decided to take time to cultivate a mindset of joy and ease
even if it feels foreign.

As I prepare for this sabbatical,

I release the pressure of creating from a place of pleasing others, burnout, and desperation and receive an overflow of freedom, joy, and peace. 

I release the idea that I must struggle to create beautiful art.

And release the belief that closing the doors, or taking a break means I’ve failed.

As I embrace this open-hand season of life, I find freedom and joy in letting go of what harms my life and receiving what is healing for me.

I don’t necessarily know what will come of it, but I trust that God will do exceedingly & abundantly more than I asked or thought of.

Often, the very things we keep our fists closed to are what keep us in chains.
In fact, I’ve learned that surrendering does not mean giving up but trusting that better days are ahead. 

There is so much freedom and healing on the other side of surrender.
And I want to experience that. I want to live that out.

This is not the end of Love Offering; This is a semicolon.
The continuance of a beautiful ministry I’ve been given,
and the beginning of a fruitful, healthy, and thriving life that I’ve been gifted.

Journal Question: What is something holding you back?
What are you struggling to release today?

If you’d like to support the shop before it closes, (Friday May 26, 2023)
click the link: Support the Shop