The Messy Middle

5 Ways to Show Up for Yourself During Hard Seasons

“I want a home photo shoot,” I told her with excitement.

“Nothing extravagant this time. I just want our Friday mornings captured in this season of our lives. The chaotic mornings and tiny slow moments in between”

When Terrie walked through our doors last Friday, she was quickly greeted by stacks of laundry on the couch, one of our two-year-olds in jammies, while the other attempted to take his diaper off.

Loud yells and stomping little toes seem to be the norm these days.
The laundry basket rarely stays empty, and coffee is consumed in gulps.

It’s not exactly what someone pictures when thinking of a slow, intentional life.

But after experiencing a time where I fought to hold it all together,
I’m in a season where I am finding peace in the falling apart.
I am in a season where I am holding space for comfort in the midst of chaos.

I am in a season where I am choosing to honor myself in the messy middle.
And here’s how I’m doing it.

Five Ways to Show Up for Yourself in the Messy Middle

1. Make a Simple Moment a Sacred One
   Read Every Moment Sacred here.
   
   Two years ago, I got rid of my instant coffee maker. I was in the midst of postpartum depression + postpartum anxiety, and while the instant coffee maker would give me a dose of energy quickly, I needed something to slow me down.
   I desired to love my mornings again, so I made the active choice to create a slow morning ritual out of something that can be so ordinary.
   I traded my instant coffee maker for a Chemex. And took my time making something warm for myself. From the smell of the coffee to the art technique that comes from grinding my beans and making a pour-over, the simple moment quickly becomes sacred.
   

2. Practice Self-Reflection

   

   My journey to having children was far from easy. We went through loss, waiting, and infertility to get our miracle rainbow twins. (More to share about it this month as it is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month.) When I look back at journal entries and books I’ve written on that specific season of my life, it makes room for deep gratitude in the midst of crazy.
   Self-reflection allows us to acknowledge the challenges we face but make room for grace along the way.
   

3. Find and Lean on your Support System
   
   The hardest thing for me to do is ask for help. I never want to be a bother or feel like a burden to those I love. But in this season of my life, I’ve realized that people want to come alongside us and help.

   Letting go of the idea that we are a bother or burden allows our loved ones to care for and support us during the messy moments.

4. Create Space for Self-Compassion

   
   The last thing we need amid being overwhelmed and discouraged is guilt, shame, or negative self-talk. Even if it’s the easiest thing to turn to, negative self-talk does more harm than healing. 

   Choosing to forgive, love, and hold ourselves through the challenging moments allows us to cultivate a gentle and graceful relationship with ourselves.
   

5. Do One Thing that leads you towards Joy.

   
   I’ve challenged myself to attend yoga classes for the past couple of weeks. I cannot participate in yoga classes every day because I’m a stay-at-home mom with limited help, But I committed to staying consistent, even if once a week. When I don’t attend yoga, I walk with the boys around my neighborhood or have a mindful art session. They don’t last all day; some of these activities are less than twenty minutes long.
   Making space for things that give us joy allows us to fill up during moments of exhaustion and extreme vulnerability.
   

I’m in the messy middle season.

It’s far from picture-perfect.

It’s raw. Exhausting.
Overstimulating.

With tiny moments of joy in between.

But one day,

The chaotic mornings will fade.
The messy middle will subside.
And it will one day become a memory.

A photograph.

So, for now, we hold fast.
We seek support.
We make space for self-compassion.

And find pockets of joy in the messy middles.

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Weekly Love Dose::

Listen: A song that has encouraged me this week
Alright-Ledisi

Reflect: Mindful Art Journal Prompt (Share with us below)
- Grab your journal and draw a small circle in the middle.
- In the Circle Write: Things that Bring me joy
- Draw 7 Lines around the circle (like a sun)
- With each ray, write something that brings you joy
-Try to do one of those things this week

Remember:
One day,

The chaotic mornings will fade.
The messy middle will subside.
And it will one day become a memory.

A photograph.

So, for now, we hold fast.
We seek support.
We make space for self-compassion.

And find pockets of joy in the messy middles.

I hope this month you take time to fill your cup as much as you pour out. Whether in the mountaintops, valleys, or in between, I hope you honor your messy middles with joy, grace, and compassion. I’d love to hear how you’ll be making room for joy this week. And if you complete the mindful art journal activity, please share it with us!
I’ll meet you in the comments.

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