Navigating Holiday Grief

The Healing Power of Honesty and Grace

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Gentle Joys

And so it begins.

The holiday music everywhere, the Christmas tree decorations on our feeds.
The holiday boxes coming out of storage and making their way into our home.
Yet some of us are trying to find our way away from it.

This season has always been a time of mixed emotions for me. With the arrival of festive music and decorations, memories of loss and grief often resurface,
making it challenging to fully embrace the joyous atmosphere.

While my children were watching Mariah Carey's Christmas special for what felt like the millionth time, I found myself curled up on the couch, trying to comfort myself with a blanket as tension rose in me.

"Do you still struggle with it?” Jay asked.
”Yeah” I exhaled in a deep sad sigh.

"Why?" He asked.
I hesitated. "It's just hard. It tends to be a reminder of the things I'm grieving."

The holidays didn't always carry this weight. However, after my dad's deportation in 2010, they became a poignant reminder of the loved ones absent from my life. Following the loss of our babies after getting married, "The most wonderful time of the year" transformed into the most trying time for me.

Even after the arrival of our miracle twins, it remained a reminder of severed friendships and the distance separating family from us.

Yet, somehow, this year feels different. Witnessing the unbridled joy and innocence of my two-year-olds as they belt out "All I Want for Christmas Is Youuuuuuu" brings me to a place of duality. Here, grief coexists with joy.

As I navigate through the complexities of holiday trauma, my children have become my guiding light, offering solace and support in ways I never thought possible.
Their unwavering love and innocent enthusiasm have played a crucial role in helping me find peace during this emotionally challenging time.

The holidays aren't easy for everyone, especially if you're navigating a season of grief. And as I reflect on the tumult of this year, I recognize that I'm not alone in my struggles. I acknowledge that many cherish this time, and there's no shame in that. However, I'm discovering that to find healing, to continue discovering peace and joy amid grief, I must be honest with myself.

Avoiding your pain, suppressing your emotions, and pretending to be okay just to spare others discomfort is a disservice to your healing journey.

While this time of the year may inherently evoke feelings of sadness and longing,
my children have illuminated the path to healing, reminding me that
love, joy, and resilience can prevail in the face of adversity.

Their presence has reshaped my perspective, infusing the season with newfound meaning and significance.

They have been teaching me to heal with honesty, guiding me to grant myself grace and to handle my heart with tenderness, compassion, and most importantly care.

As we grieve and heal, as we strive to make space for joy,
let us anchor ourselves in the imperative of being honest with ourselves.

Yes, grief hurts, and yes, the journey is arduous. But you know what's even harder? Walking with open wounds that aren’t receiving the healing care they need.

Give healing your time,
Give healing your honesty.

May you remember during this tender time that You are worthy of Care.

3 Ways to Navigate Holiday Grief:

Feel Your Feelings.
Acknowledge that it’s normal to experience a range of emotions during the holiday season. Whether it’s sadness, joy, nostalgia, allow yourself to feel without judgement. Recognizing your emotions is an essential part of the healing process.

Create New Traditions/Rituals to Honor Your Grief

Whether it’s writing a letter to grief, or creating/purchasing an heirloom to honor your loved one this is a beautiful way to make space for comfort and joy amidst the tenderness your heart feels.

Angel Baby Remembrance Ornament 2022

In 2017 I created the remembrance ornament to honor my angel baby. These ornaments have made their way to 300+ homes since then and it always brings me joy to be a part of honoring others in their grief and healing journey. (Check Out Ornaments Here)

Nourish Your Wellbeing

Take some time to practice self-care. The easiest thing to do when grieving is neglecting your needs. Check in with yourself, practice mindful art, spend time outside, do some gentle yoga. Set mindful moments for self-reflection and relaxation that can help alleviate the emotional burden of grief during the holidays.

May these tips give you the gentle love and care that you deserve.
May they serve as a reminder that it’s okay to feel both.
That Grief and Joy can coexist.

Be encouraged. The load gets lighter.
Things will get better. You are not alone.
And you don’t have to have it all together.

Paid Subscribers: I will be sharing a Mindful Art Activity Pdf that I created that has been a huge help during times of deep grief and overwhelm. I’ll see you on the chat.

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Weekly Love Dose::

Listen: A song that brings ease.
Free - Perri Jones

Reflect: Journal Prompts
- Reflect on your support System.
Who can you reach out to for comfort and understanding?
- Explore Self-Care.
What activities bring you comfort and peace?
- Share words you need to hear. How can you navigate these moments with self compassion and understanding?

Remember:
Give healing your time, Give healing your honesty.

As we go about our week, I encourage you to be honest in the season you are in. If you need to take some steps back from social media, and process your emotions, do that. If you need to decline to events because things feel too heavy, say no.
Do what need, to protect your peace.

I would love to hear from you. How does this season feel for you? Is it filled with grief, are you finding pockets of joy? What holiday traditions are you creating to honor grief and loss? What’s one thing that makes you feel at ease? I’ll see you in the comments!