Not in a Pew, but in His Presence

When Church Hurts, and God Still Heals

This Easter feels different.

For the first time, I’m not walking into a church building.
No pews, no fancy hats, no stage.

Just me, and the quiet whisper of God meeting me right where I am.

And somehow, that feels more holy than anything I’ve known before.

Growing up, I learned to fear God—
not in the way the Bible speaks of,
with reverence and wonder,
but with the heavy fear of not being good enough,
of slipping up and being left behind.

Church became a place where I buried my doubts deep,
and appearances mattered more than healing.

I learned how to survive behind closed doors:
to call spiritual abuse “wisdom,”
to excuse manipulation as “leadership,”
to stay silent in the face of injustice for the sake of “peace.”

The deepest wounds I’ve carried were not from the world,
but from those who called themselves Christ-followers.

Still, even in all that hurt,
God never abandoned me.

Focused on Healing 2025

The deepest wounds I’ve carried were not from the world,
but from those who called themselves Christ-followers.

Still, even in all that hurt,
God never abandoned me.

He was never the voice of condemnation in my ear.
He was the One whispering, “Come to Me.”

He was the One weeping with me in the places where no one else saw.
He was the One standing outside every locked door, waiting for me to open it.

This season of resurrection feels like stepping out of an old tomb.
The God I feared out of duty is revealing Himself
as the God who loves out of abundance.

“The Lord is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love.”

— Psalm 103:8

I’m learning that resurrection doesn’t always look like crowds singing
Forever by Kari Jobe.

Sometimes, it looks like a quiet heart finally at rest.
Sometimes it looks like choosing truth over tradition.

Sometimes it looks like trusting that
God’s love was never rooted in my performance—only in His goodness.

This Easter, I’m paving a new path:
one where my children will know a God who delights in them,
who welcomes their questions,
who teaches through kindness and leads with mercy.

A God whose fruits are love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.
(Galatians 5:22–23)

Fruit of The Spirit Designed by Me: Grab Your Print Here

I want them to know the real Jesus—
not the version distorted by power or fear,
but the One who calls the weary to come and rest.

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.”
— Matthew 11:28

I’m not showing up in a building this year to prove anything to anyone.
I’m showing up in the resurrection story God is still writing in me.

The one that says:
You are not too broken.
You are not too late.
You are already loved.

“Behold, I am making all things new.”

— Revelation 21:5

And this time, I believe Him.

What does resurrection look like in your life right now?

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Thank you for taking the time to explore cuídate, my sacred online space where I share writings filled with hope, truth, and healing. My life’s work is to inspire others to live with intention, love others, and lay our burdens down. If my work resonates with you or offers help, I would be grateful if you could share it with a friend or loved one in need.

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