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D M's avatar

Okay, crying. Definitely crying. I resonated so much with this. I’m contemplating heavily on still going to Church. People don’t act right and I have felt out of place for YEARS. I feel more comfortable and at peace outside of the church. What?! That doesn’t make sense. I dunno. I’ve been wrestling with this and my heart aches in spaces that it shouldn’t.

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Josefina H's avatar

Sending love because I get it. I’ve been heavily involved in the church and have seen a lot and experienced a lot of hurt behind the scenes. It’s not talked about enough. I hope you receive the support you need, and if ever you’re ready or feel led to go back you have the tools and discernment on what spaces feel safe.

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Adeline's avatar

Beautiful words! God is reflected through my spirit to the world… not in church or a tradition.

He is peace within me. Joy within me. Abundance within me. He is in me.❤️

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Josefina H's avatar

Amen

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Tori's avatar

This is awesome! Thank you for sharing. This was my first Easter not physically in church and this resonated with me so much. I know that God is with me on my deconstruction journey. I’ve been saying since the beginning of this year that it’s my blooming season and this was another reminder/ confirmation that I’m on the right path. 😊

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Josefina H's avatar

Yes Tori. I’m in the beginning stages and it’s a lot to navigate when humans are involved. Sending you ease and love in your healing journey.

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Almut | The Weary Pilgrim's avatar

This is so true, Josefina, our little one brought us back to church! And I am glad we finally found one where we are welcome just as we are, right around the block! It is one thing to deconstruct one’s own journey but then there are also all those gifts I carry with me from growing up a pastor’s child as you carry Bible words in your heart. And I want my child to have some of these gifts also, and I had to admit I am not the best teacher. I can teach her the sacredness of quiet and nature and family, but not of community and worship. So there is our compromise.(Also I was not aware how much I had been missing singing).

Much blessings to all sisters here :-)

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Grazee's avatar

Thank you for this. Church Hurt is real and one I stop going. I discovered I could have an authentic relationship with God to embrace the Fruits of the Spirts.

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Josefina H's avatar

You definitely can. Holding you close in your tender season.

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CeCe913's avatar

❤️❤️❤️ Beautiful! Thanks for sharing and also including audio!!

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Josefina H's avatar

That was my favorite part. Thank you for listening.

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Jess Joseph's avatar

Thank you for this. I am also not in a pew but still in His presence this holy day. Sitting with my feelings about going back to the Church. I attended service online from my family church in NY and that filled me enough.

I turned 33 a few weeks ago and I’ve told everyone it’s my Jesus year. Indeed, my aim for this year is to step closer towards Christ Consciousness. Today, I’m feeling more grounded in being able to take that walk.

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Josefina H's avatar

Good luck in your journey Jess. I turned 33 in August and it is definitely my Jesus year. Lots of grief but also lots of hope.

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Kristen Jeffers, MPA ✊🏽🌈's avatar

That’s how I feel today. I’m going to go and sit outside in their creation and dwell in the beauty of what has been created and lifted up!

And my family and friends that are still in the bosom of hate. I feel sorry for them.

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Josefina H's avatar

I hope it was a beautiful time for you.

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Kristen Jeffers, MPA ✊🏽🌈's avatar

it was amazing. Peep my notes, I went live and I had some amazing quiet time

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Melanie Spring's avatar

Truly. All of this. Thank you for writing what I was thinking this morning. ✨🫶🏼

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Josefina H's avatar

I’m so glad it resonates Melanie.

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Chjd's avatar

Appreciate your heart felt message, thank you.

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Josefina H's avatar

Thank you so much for reading.

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Anne Freeman's avatar

I can completely relate and have written about this myself. Thank you for having the courage to share what’s on your heart!

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Josefina H's avatar

Yes and thank you also for sharing your experience. This is something that’s not spoken about enough!

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Elder Notes's avatar

Your words captured exactly how I felt on Resurrection Sunday. Resurrection looks like rebirth for me right now. I’m going through discovering who I am as a widow. Thank you for this. Bless u🌺

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Josefina H's avatar

Wow what a huge life change. I’m holding you close as you navigate this new season.

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Robert the contemplative's avatar

Thank you

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Josefina H's avatar

Always.

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Alicia Hill-Levy's avatar

Thank you for sharing this. I deeply resonated with the idea of finding His presence outside of the pew. For a long time, I distanced myself from church, not from God, but from the hurt and disillusionment I experienced inside those walls. I entered seeking counsel, community, and connection, but left feeling turned off and spiritually wounded. Still, God never left me. His love, nurture, and guidance were always present even in the silence. This season, I’m learning to reconnect quietly. Not performatively, not with big declarations but with intimacy, intention, and honesty. Your words reminded me that we can still belong to God, even when we’re no longer sitting in the same spaces. Thank you again for that reminder. 🤍

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Tangier's avatar

This!!! I resonate with this so much. I wrote about this morning. Felt reluctant to publish, but I’m going to do it. Thank you for sharing!

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Ariana Rivera's avatar

Love this. Thank you! I was actually in church this Easter for the first time in years. Maybe a few years ahead in this reorientation of self and God after church pain and realization. May this new road be a beautiful one! It has been for me.

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Almut | The Weary Pilgrim's avatar

Resurrection looks like Spring to me! And I know, that is not the same in FL than it is here in the upper Midwest, where we live with bare trees for half a year. But now green is poking out from under the grey and life is pulsing again, sacred like on the very first day.

Josefina, I am glad I found your writings — again. So tender and from within. So calming. You have created a breathing space indeed.

And your way of approaching faith is so pure and so compassionate and healing.

I love the Easter metaphor of the tomb becoming the womb for new beginnings. It came to mind reading your words about the tomb.

Blessings, always 🙏

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Lauren Love's avatar

Thank you. ❤️🙏🏼

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