You Can't Pray Your Way Out Of It

Something Warm:: Last Week 5/5

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"Just pray about it"

It was one of those nights when my anxiety rudely interrupted my sleep, forcing me to bolt out of bed in search of comfort. The familiar path led me to my mother's room, where I found her perched upright with tears rolling down her cheeks.

With a gentle yet firm voice, she uttered, "Vete a dormir" (Go to sleep),
wiping away her tears before guiding me back to bed.

That was the first time I ever saw my mother cry, an unforgettable moment that engraved in me the habit of masking my own pain from the world.

Through the years, I observed my mother wrestle with her mental health and distracting herself with cleaning and caring for my sisters and I to contain her thoughts. Despite a spiritual shift when we began attending church, her struggle with mental health persisted.

We live in a world that yearns for instant gratification. We don’t like waiting so we will pay the extra funds to get things expedited. Whether it’s food, a book, groceries, we try to find a way to get things quickly, and expect the same when it comes to our pain.

A couple of years ago, as I mindlessly scrubbed dishes and repeated cleaning routines, I couldn't help but chuckle at the parallel between my actions and my mother's coping mechanisms. I was grappling with grief from our first loss, navigating the challenging journey of infertility, and battling the shadows of anxiety and depression.

It was during this tumultuous period that I confided in a loved one, only to receive the well-intentioned yet simplistic advice, "just pray about it."

While I recognized the sincerity behind those words, a part of me grappled with the realization that prayer alone couldn't erase the depths of anguish and turmoil I was experiencing.

I believe in the power of prayer but I also believe that it is more than just praying.

In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead. James 2:17

I’ve struggled with depression, anxiety, and ocd my entire life. There were times that out of defeat and frustration I would pray to God to take the pain away. I didn’t want to feel so deeply, hurt so badly, or continue to self destruct.

Many people walk through life carrying silent burdens, clinging to the misconception that prayer alone can dissolve their struggles. The reality is —prayer cannot simply erase the pain.

I’ve heard the phrase of making prayer your key in the morning and lock at night.
But what about the in between? What do we do during the messy moments?

If you are a spiritual or religious person, prayer and meditation is a tool that you have in your support suitcase. It can be the very first thing you pick up when walking through dark seasons; But if you believe that prayer is the only thing to help someone in their healing journey when it pertains to mental health, trauma, etc. that risks fostering isolation and masking of pain.

Just like faith without works is dead, prayer without action cannot work.

My faith is a cherished cornerstone of my being, but I understand that actionable steps are essential in tandem with prayer for true transformation and liberation from inner turmoil.

In this chapter of my life, faith looks like seeing my struggles, sharing with trusted loved ones, and seeking healing without imposing rigid timelines or predetermined paths to recovery. It enables me to approach my mental health challenges with understanding and compassion, while holding onto the belief that this is not the final destination.

Prayer serves as a tether to faith, not as a means to miraculously erase my struggles, but to shift my perspective from suffering to seeking healing through God, community, and connection.

I’m learning that it doesn’t end with prayer, in fact it starts with it.

During the turbulent phases of hyperemesis gravidarum, high-risk pregnancy, and postpartum depression, prayer alone wasn't sufficient. I leaned on medical, community, and professional support to navigate these daunting journeys.

You cannot just pray away a life debilitating disease or illness of someone you care for, you’d encourage them to go see a doctor, get a second opinion, seek treatment. The same goes for our mental and emotional well being.

You may not be able to pray the pain, the heartache, or the struggles away
but, you can receive support and encouragement along the way.

As we enter Mental Health Awareness Month here is a prayer and affirmation to take with you.

May this new month give you the courage to confront your struggles, the wisdom to share them openly, and the grace to seek healing without rushing the process. May you find peace in knowing that this journey is part of your growth. May you feel supported and guided every step of the way.

mindful minute: a time to reflect and respond

Let’s take a moment to breathe deep and exhale together.
Inhale through the nose for five seconds, hold your breath for seven seconds
and exhale for eight seconds.

Listen: A Sweet Sound
Holy - Jamila Woods

Reflect: Journal Prompts (Feel free to share in Comments)

- How do you practice self-care and self compassion during difficult seasons?

- What would you put in your support suitcase?

Remember:

May this new month give you the courage to confront your struggles, the wisdom to share them openly, and the grace to seek healing without rushing the process. May you find peace in knowing that this journey is part of your growth. May you feel supported and guided every step of the way.

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Here are some of my most recent posts::

A Season of Yes
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Something Warm:: Last Week 4/14
Let Yourself Fall
I Quit
The Narrow Path
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