Beyond Motherhood

Something Warm:: Last Week 8/11

Hello, Bienvenidos, & Welcome Back to Cuídate, my sacred space online where I share writings of hope, truth, and healing to encourage us to live with intention, love people, and lay our burdens down.

I’m Josefina, the writer behind this platform. My heartfelt wish is that my words become honey to your soul, bringing sweetness and healing to your bones (Proverbs 16:24).

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“Who are you?” She asked me with enthusiasm.

“Honestly, I’m trying to figure that out,” I responded.

For almost four years, I focused on becoming a mother.

Despite facing challenges like multiple losses, a diagnosis of PCOS,
and unexplained infertility, I kept striving.

In 2020, after three years of waiting, we experienced another heartbreaking loss at seven weeks. But then, a slice of hope emerged as I discovered I was pregnant with our miracle twins.

Our mourning turned into joy as we awaited the safe arrival of our boys, Jude and Justice. Their miraculous birth brought deep joy despite the fear and trauma we experienced.

Following their premature arrival, my world revolved around Jude and Justice. Through a turbulent pregnancy, birth, and tough postpartum period, my primary focus remained on them.

Last year, during an interview with my friend Mel on The Rough Concept Podcast, she asked me the most popular question most hosts ask during interviews: Who are you?

I could’ve easily said that I was a mother, writer, and artist;
Instead, I vulnerably shared that, 

I’m in a season where I’m trying to figure out who I am.

For a long time, I had yearned for the title of “mother” and to have healthy children. 

I found myself identifying so profoundly with my grief and desires that it was all I knew. It fueled my purpose and some way somehow I lost myself along the way.

Now that my children are here, I’m embarking on a new journey of self-discovery, one that is shaping my evolving identity. One where I ask myself:

Who are you outside of what you do for others?
What are your dreams?
What nourishes your spirit?

As I celebrate my miracle boys turning three this month,
I find myself transitioning into a new phase,
moving beyond what I've always known to embrace the person I was meant to be.

Today I turn in my badge of being a full-time stay-at-home mom and spread my wings into what awaits this season. A new job, and dare I say, not a creative one.
(We’ll get into that on the next post)

While guilt has met me in this change, grace is meeting me here, too.

In this motherhood season, I've realized that though I strive not to derive my worth from my roles, I've felt guilty for desiring more.

Motherhood, as cherished as it is, doesn't encompass all my aspirations,
and I'm learning not to feel ashamed of that.

While treasuring the past three years with my children, I recognized the need for spaces to refuel, recharge, and replenish. While some find this at home swiftly, I am exploring beyond these walls.

Not everyone may comprehend, and that's alright.
My evolution journey isn't for others to grasp but for me to uncover.

Taking the leap, I embrace the process of unlearning, unraveling, and undoing.

This week, as I celebrate three years of motherhood, I am releasing three beliefs to create space for my personal growth

1. I am releasing the belief that I must sacrifice all of myself for my children. Taking care of my mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual well-being is essential to effective parenting. 

2. I release the belief that being a good mom requires perfection.
   Before being a mother, I am a student, and before being a student, I am human. 
   May I remember that it is okay to make mistakes, learn along the way.

3. I release the belief that I must handle everything alone. Even with limited support, it's okay to seek help. Letting go of the idea of solitary strength, a super mom accepts support from her super loved ones.

   
   

mindful minute: a time to reflect and respond

Let’s take a moment to breathe deep and exhale together.
Inhale through the nose, and exhale with a deep sigh.

Listen: When I need Gentleness
We Keep On - Aqyila

Reflect: Journal Prompts (Feel free to share in Comments)
- What deepens your spirit?
- What drains your spirit?

Community, I invite you to finish the phrase on the comments.
In this season I am releasing

Remember:
My evolution journey isn't for others to grasp but for me to uncover.

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or in case you’re looking for some more reads

Healing isn’t found in Hiding
Let Joy In
Stop Being Mean To Yourself
You Can’t Pray Your Way Out Of It
A Season of Yes
When You’re Just Not Feeling It
Let Yourself Fall
I Quit